I am struggling today. I have been positive for nearly a week but today tears just keep forming. I am fairly sure this is the grieving process and mostly a sad reflection of how lonely I have been for some time. Probably since our boys were born. I know this is a cliche. I am still GAL. WAW is almost completely out of the house. Lots of boxes of hers and my boys things. I am very slowly realising they are not gone for good and of course I will see them, but there is something deeply seated in my aspirations of fatherhood, having my boys run in and jump on my bed in the morning or playing dragons before school. I guess it is the loss of my family and fatherhood as well as my dreams of growing old together with someone I had total trust and vulnerability with. These dreams have been decimated. I have been on long walks with my pooch most mornings. It does help clear my head. I am struggling so much with detaching / not helping WAW but don't want to be a jerk about it but she is not talking to me at all still so I guess I am off the hook and won't be asked for anything. Feeling like I am not needed as well as not wanted is hard to deal with. I don't value myself anymore. It is limbo and I feel like I am treading water but slowly sinking.
me45,W43 S9,S5 T15yrs M10yrs BD 4/07/15 W wants D 4/07/15 W filed 8/05/15 D petition arrived 21/12/15 Merry xmas, W,S5 S9 moved out 5/2/16
