I am so sorry that you are hurting so much right now. The pain is almost unbearable at times and I know it's hard to believe, but it will get better. Try to do something to get your mind off of it for a while...read a book, call a friend, watch TV, anything at all to give yourself even a small break. Keep posting here, it helps just to be able to talk about it with people that understand. Just remember that this pain isn't forever. (((((Judy)))))
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Someone at work showed me this poem a few nights ago. When I read it, it made me cry. It's a beautiful poem that seems like it was written just for all of us Left behind spouses. It really seemed to speak to me and I plan to read it every day. Please read it, maybe it can help you as well. (thanks NYGal for finding it and posting so I could copy it . )
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure you really are strong you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye, you learn...
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
MB...You are a sweetheart. Thanks for the poem - yes, it made me cry, but then it started to make sense and sink in.
I'm feeling more like myself, promise.
I don't know what would have become of me if I hadn't found this board and all the wonderful people here. I shudder to think of it. It wouldn't have been good, I can tell you that for certain.
I was so lost, so confused, so scared, and feeling so very alone...then came hope, direction, and help from places I could never have dreamed. Life is good, isn't it?
((((((((Ancaire)))))))) I'm so sorry to hear that you are so unwell the last few days on top of everything else. I agree with you about getting any help that you are entitled to. Thinking of you and hope that you feel better soon. We are all here for you.
(((Judy))) Great news! From where you are, you can only go up! (God, please dont prove me wrong, just be a good girl and do what you are told)
How is that grandbaby?
You have a great grasp on your limitations right now. It is good that you are listening to the docs and not H. Now we can work on some GAL/PMA activities that fall within your limitations. When you first open your eyes in the morning, if you dont feel some excitement about your activities for the day, then we have some work to do.
Lets just come up with one thing. One thing you can do that is all yours. Something you can take pride in.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!