asambandha

[roist]

Here are my thoughts on this.

Firstly you are taking it too personally.Yes it is directed selectively at you. But it is about her. If you have to make up an excuse for her behaviour that is not about you. It is not what she is doing that is your problem it is what you think it means. Change that meaning. I am not belittling the situation as I know it is tough and hard to live with.

Secondly maybe by saying nothing you are enabling this behaviour.We read all over the place to not add negativity into the mix and unless it is important to not make a big deal about stuff. I agree with that BUTnot to the extent of accepting anything.

This behaviour is contrary to the basics of conduct in society let alone in a R. OK W does not want any R with you. But she has one. Ye are parents together. Ye are living together. So a minimum of common politeness is not too much to have IMO. I would call her on this behaviour.

Although it is probably not viewed as seriously as other behaviour we see here I would even consider telling her she should leave if she cannot find it in her to be civil. During your threads especially earlier you were the epiphany of acceptance. This is where ye are at and this is what it'll be late keep until son finishes school. This trait has endeared you to many here. But maybe it would be good for your W to think you could contemplate her leaving.

Maybe I am overreacting, but it is worth thinking about. But if that is how she treats you in front of your children I would ask you to think strongly and then act strongly.

On a previous point it is a powerful aide to detaching to imagine a great life without W. Get excited about the possibilities. It'll change your mindframe and ultimately your behaviour . I would be interested in hearing how you are actively pursuing the changing of character traits too. One thing though, don't spread yourself too thin by trying too much at once.

Best wishes.