2lt, taking a couple of days to think is a great idea.
Calm, deep breath, spend some amazing energy on you to help clear your head.
Then please go see a lawyer to get a consultation and if you can, go see a IC (and start to really really start working on your boundaries, ok). The revelation that your wife is doing what she is, can truly put us into a downward spiral.
The one thing you have to remeber through all of this, you did not break her. She is cratering from some issues that happened before you were part of her life, these thing are coming back up and they have shattered her and she is now looking to try some form of feeling normal...it is a sad sad reality that she is in right now.
Her accusations of you spying and whatever are complete BS in the real world, however in her head she is making you her enemy. Be careful.
Protect yourself and your kids. Make this a priority. Do not sleep with her at all, for whatever reason.
Now more than any time in your life, you need two start self-care and teally focus your energy on u and your kids. Her path is her own and you need to let that boat sail to wherever het winds take it.
Keep posting, vent here, we are good sponges for that, ok???
