H just kept saying he made me miserable. That he wasn't happy after leaving, wasn't even any happier after leaving. And that he feels like a horrible person and that he's made me really mad for filing. That he feels awful. He never pictured this for us.
I asked him why he would do this instead of working on M if it made him so sad and didn't help him to feel better and he kept saying that I seemed better without him...that I was happier. He told me he was really worried about me when he first left, but now he doesn't worry because I seem happier.
He said that his lawyer told him that the dissolution filing would appear in the paper and that seemed to really bother him that people would know. He hasn't told anyone...not even his parents.
I admit, I kept saying don't do this and said I'm trying very hard to work on making myself happy because you were never in control of making me happy or sad. It was all me. He just kept saying it was all his fault and I didn't need to change.
He said it was a 90 day process and he felt it would take even longer with us. That he wanted to talk to me a lot. I repeated that I still wanted to work on staying together, that we could be happy together without him changing, because I could see what I have done and where I need to work.
I said I understood that he didn't trust me to change my behavior, but I could and already was. He finally said I don't trust you to do that, you're right. He kept going back to apologizing and saying it was his fault for making me miserable. I repeated that he didn't have that control over my feelings...but that the thought of him actually added to my happiness.
This just bites. He wants to keep talking but sounds so tortured. DBing seems to have had the opposite effect on him. My appearing happy has solidified his idea that it was him who made me unhappy...and it wasn't. I don't know what to do now.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
