We are as far as I know. Not with holding the kids at all. There have been no signs toward that. When I have the kids I am quite happy if she wants to talk to them. I don't want to seem like I am distancing myself from them by not asking how they are or talking to them regularly. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. So yes I do need to talk to them to ful fill my needs.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
