She's thinking of leaving again 3

[Zues126]

I'm not criticizing when I say this, because it's not easy to do, but you really need to detach here.

Your W is not the woman you love. Look at her with fresh eyes. She is literally walking out of a marriage and living the party lifestyle, flaunting a new man in your face. The "HER" you love is the person that loved you back, was committed to you, did nice things for you, was loyal to you. The way I always viewed it is this person is your W's identical twin sister that murdered your W, destroyed your marriage and family, and is now trying to manipulate you through your feelings for the woman you loved to give her whatever she wants, be that an 'amicable divorce' (meaning she gets what she wants), or just lots of validation that she is hot stuff. How can you be attracted to this sadistic and evil twin?

Spend time grieving the loss of your W, and your M. Fine. But let her go. You can't detach in your mind overnight. But you can damn sure detach in your behavior. Don't break NC, and don't compromise your boundaries. She is poison and will do nothing but tear open the wounds that are just barely starting to heal.

I always say "How do you expect her to get over OM if you can't get over her?"

Really. Think about it.

Someone has to transcend emotions and longings, get some strength from above, and live with some purpose. That is you my friend.

It's not an easy road, but it is doable. I'm now 19 months out from BD and I can tell you two things about WAW: 1) She never changed, she is with OM #5 (that I know of), she is partying, she is the social media queen, etc, and 2) I don't care in any way, shape or form. I don't even feel pangs anymore. She literally is just a woman with a poor compass in life that made an understandably short sighted decision that destroyed our family. I hope her life turns out well, but I'm past even wanting her to regret her decision someday. Her life and mine are so far apart that her remorse or lack of it doesn't intersect with my journey. I tell you this because she ain't about to have second thoughts at the courthouse, she's long, long gone, and her journey is leading far away, if her path crosses yours again it will be surprising and would be years from now. So please don't wait up for her. Take care of yourself and follow the trail of breadcrumbs I left for you through detachville, GALminster, and 180burgh.