I'm really not well today. I was up for what seemed like at least half the night with the most dreadful cold and flu symptoms that suddenly hit last night and the full things has taken hold today. Have the most awful headache that won't shift . My GAL tonight will be tucking myself in bed with a warm drink, not very exciting.
When H came round to see the kids tonight he asked me my opinion on a job offer. It really threw me, and upset me because his working hours were awful when we were together, he hardly saw the kids and hardly had any weekends off. He always refused to do anything about it as he felt happiness at work came before how much he saw his family. Now, now that he has left he could be getting a job with the perfect hours I always dreamed of. It was galling to say the least. I told him it didn't really have anything to do with me anymore. He actually looked pained by that answer and said that he still really values my opinion!! What!?!?! I told him that if we were still together those hours would have been my dream come true, that was something I'd always wanted but that it was his decision based on what he thought would make him happiest. He looked upset that I didn't want to offer more thoughts on the matter. He is so confusing!
Then, once the kids were in bed he told me I looked dreadful and started getting me things to make me more comfortable! I really wish he hadn't. All it has done is highlight what I've lost and how sweet he used to be if I needed looking after. Of course, he still just left after getting me the things. He will be back again in the morning at 7am to see the kids and take D to school. Thought I was getting better at numbing away the pain but no, it's right there, a giant hole in my heart.
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. My GAL tonight will be tucking myself in bed with a warm drink, not very exciting.