Calling Wonka, are you out there? I'll bet she says don't respond to the email or text. No W sightings today, but that's because of her early morning meeting with OW, my boss, my good friend/work colleague, and others. This happens every two weeks and so far I've resisted the urge to go over there and trip OW on her way out. Or trip and spill hot coffee on her. But I must say, calling her every name in the book (I could use some new ones btw) while I'm in my car or riding my bicycle (I commute by bike) feels really good and releases a lot of tension. It's quite cathartic, really.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
That is very strange isn't it, to cc you in on the email. I think you're right not to reply or respond in any way to it. Had to laugh at the image of you waiting in the wings somewhere to trip OW on her way out! Even if it is only fantasy! Thank you for checking in on me on my thread and for your thoughts and advice, I really appreciate it NYGal.
Yep. You've got this right....do not respond to email or text. Stay dark. Don't run out of your office if you see W walk by your building or try to engineer an encounter.
Look at it this way. You played hide and seek as a kid..right? What happens when you go looking for people? You search and search to find them. Same with going dark on W. She will wonder what you are up to and seek you out.
Patience, m'dear.
P.S. I can help you and sneak in OW's building to spike her coffee for you!!!
P.S. I can help you and sneak in OW's building to spike her coffee for you!!!
Will you? Could you? She's got mousy brown hair, her lips look like the Joker's in Batman and she has a whiny voice. Does that help? (Must make you wonder what I look like if W left me for that, huh?)
Actually, I am feeling some of my power come back. I don't mean control, I mean a renewed sense of myself and who I am. I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling like I matter. I'm feeling like she's a fool to leave this confident, capable, smart, awesome woman who can really rock the cute dresses and stylish boots. OK, so maybe that's an overstatement, but I'm enjoying feeling a little bit better.
I know this will be a long haul, so it's nice to feel OK for a change.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
One of my good friends is a psychologist and therapist. Back when I found out about my H's affair, I talked to him about it a bit and was told that cheaters almost always "affair down" and they look for someone less attractive/smart/accomplished/capable than their partner because they aren't threatening. They get an ego boost because they get to feel superior, and the OP really looks up to them and is grateful for their attention because they know they are out of their league.
Was definitely true in my case. When I saw the OW, H was actually embarrassed. lol
Thtat's the same in my situation as well. What is he thinking!?! I do not have a lot of self confidence, but I do know that I am a smart and compassionate person who ALWAYS takes care of everyone else before doing anything for myself. I don't think I'm super attractive, but not ugly either. But, this OW, I just don't get what he sees in her at all. Aside from her looks, she is the complete opposite of what he likes. He hates tattoos...OW has one. He doesn't like women with short hair.....OW has short hair. He hates people that drink (his first W was an alcoholic)....OW is in a bar with a drink in her hand in almost every pic I've seen of her. He had a fit thinking that I might have a Facebook page (I don't and never have)....OW is on Facebook all the time. <---- my friend might have looked her up for me on Facebook, lol. Anyway, it just goes on and on. How can he WANT to be with someone that is so opposite of what he likes? And, how can he pick her over me....TWICE???? I know, I know, his stupid fragil ego needs stroking. I know without a doubt that he would never put up with this if MY ego needed stroking!!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
I didn't know "affair down" was a thing. I love it. Annab, your comment about H being embarrassed was hysterical! Imagine how OW felt!!
Wouldn't it be great if right about now we could get "employee of the year" or have a letter to the editor published, or win the lottery or get a promotion or SOMETHING that would boost our confidence even more? Maybe we don't need that though. We have a shared history with our wayward spouses, and that's a lot to compete with. We made it work for X years and they are just the shiny new penny. Pennies aren't worth much.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
