Im following your thread its similiar to with the returning and talking about us to nothing again Before that there was a lot of stuff she blamed me for and that i needed to work on. I took a lot of it to heart and was bending over backwards to get everything right. I got blamed for the money issues sold the house and then after she told me she had 50k in credit card debt that i knew nothing about. No wonder we argued about money and i can now see that wasnt my issue it had nothing to do with me.
I agree with you about stopping the focus on marriage with the counsellor and working on yourself. My counsellor sets goals and gives me feedback afterwards about what she sees or improvements in my behaviour and learning. Its hard to deal with the fact that i contributed to this. I always wanted to make our relationship better and have a lasting marriage.i spent over a year working on improving us and asked her to come with me. She always refused saying it was my behaviour causing all the issues. I can see my arguing and failure to communicate my hurt or feelings was a problem.i also failed to set boundaries of acceptable behaviour and can see how i contributed by not standing my ground or apologising to keep the peace. The counsellor has also focussed on what she believes is emotional abuse and bullying and that i was walking on eggshells for a long time. Im struggling to deal with this because her feedback was that i seem to be kind and caring and i have the ability to forgive and let go. Its quite confronting and i was crying as she read the emails and txts. I can see now im damaged by this, im struggling to deal with the loving kind girl she was to the mean and hurtful person she can be.
Wow thats off my chest thanks for the reply and support
As the say keep moving on! Maybe i can contribute more later or give support when needed
Cant wait to get started on dancing they have a weekly lesson then a monthly dance I'm hoping to get out and make new friends and improve my socialising.they tell me girls outnumber blokes!
