So sorry about XF's mother on top of everything else...
I know what you mean about all the lies and being told you'll never change because you discovered them. I think this must be classic WW script.
My H's OW was furious at him when she found out he was actually M and sent me copies of all their messages exchanged back and forth. I read them all, and it was plain as day the messages were authentic because of the personal details and also just knowing how my H talks, types, and the phrases he uses. It still didn't stop him from trying to claim 'she was a jealous female he'd turned down and now she was just trying to destroy him.' When I pointed out some of the things that were undeniable, he owned up to those, but still claimed she was lying about the more unsavory bits of the messages. At one point, I also found a prescription for Viagra, which was certainly not being used for my benefit. He claimed he was faithful, and only got the prescription out of curiosity to see what it would do. Suuuuuurrre. I believe him...don't you?
The funny thing was, just like your XF, he was the master of righteous indignation at being found out..."this is why we can't move on...you always do this...you never believe me....yada yada yada" Sound familiar? Before I had proof of the A, he would actually berate me and act like his life was so hard because he had to deal with this suspicious wife all the time and it was so unfair. I always felt so bad, like maybe I *was* the one with an issue, and would try even harder next time to suppress my instincts. But it turned out I was right about every suspicion I had.
Anyhoo...don't let him make you feel bad. He is just trying to deflect the blame on to you to justify his actions. You deserve so much better, and until he cleans up his act and is ready to give that to you, you are better off not giving him your time or concern at all.
