Round here there doesn't seem to be a functioning support group and to be honest at the moment I don't feel like doing anything which resembles dating. Busy dealing with paperwork that I've let slide and a dishwasher that has broken down. I still dream of W almost daily which affects me mentally. Some are erotic, some mundane and some critical. I'm working normally but W is on my mind way too much. I feel like I'm taking a step back at the moment. I know what I should be doing and try to shake it off but I find myself speculating about her and remembering the better times. This is the longest NC we've been and knowing she is on holiday in the same place as she went last year when she lied to me brings back a lot of darker thoughts. I also worry that her relationship with S is so poor. I am resisting contact until the end of the month when a brief financial email will do. Finding it to resist when I know she would happily take me on as best friend. Trying to keep strong but it seems to be getting harder!
