Dread Pirate Roberts

[LiM]

Hi ButterC,

So sorry your worst fears were confirmed. I know the pain and devastation you are feeling. I'm sorry to also tell you that it is going to get worse. Much worse. After I discovered my W's A, I kept that knowledge to myself for 6 days, deciding what to do, before confronting her. I managed to do pretty well during that time I think. But once I confronted her and the separation began, I went down hill very fast. I've lost 15 pounds since Dec 30th. I can't think about anything but the A and our separation. I feel like I've lost all hope and I don't know how to continue with my life. All I can do is try and make it through each day as it comes. I'm working really hard on GAL but its so difficult to make room for anything in my mind but my M problems.

I know I can't fix all our problems overnight but I have been trying desperately to find a way to end the pain. But now I'm feeling overwhelmed. In the past month, I've read a dozen books, gone to a dozen online forums, had IC, started working on my private pilots license, started a DivorceCare group, confided in friends, been exercising, gone back to church and have been working on my relationship with my daughters. All of this is good stuff to be doing but I think I've overwhelmed myself trying to stop the pain and anguish. I think only time will heal the pain.

So do what you need to do to cope, but just know the pain will come and you will have to experience it. No way around it. If it gets too much, take a nap!

I would recommend going to your doctor and getting a prescription for Clonidine 0.1mg. Its technically a blood pressure medication but its a very low dose and won't actually drop your blood pressure (I'm medical). What it does is it blunts your flight or flight response. If you have problems with your heart beating so hard that it feel like its going to come out of your chest and if you can't shut your mind down from the racing thoughts, Clonidine will help with that. Its worked wonders for me.