Georgia, My xh husband was very much like yours, i.e., couldn't keep a job, be it he was fired and/or quit and the last job he held, he wanted to quite 2 years after he was employed there and was still employed there when he left. Funny, he hated the job and didn't want to talk or hear about it. Once he was gone, you would have thought it was the a job that he loved to the utmost. He's retired now and hangs out at the firehouse all of the time, something he had no interest in when he was living w/me.
I think they did the above w/us because we were their safety nets and loved them and tended to ignore/accept their flaws. Now, they have no choice but to "man up" and work jobs and pay their bills on time. They want to be the rescuer this time around and not rescued. Of course, to them, we were their mothers who did them wrong, when we were only being responsible and accountable for earnings and ensuring bills got paid on time. Time will tell how his new situation plays out.
I'm sorry to read about the loss of the children. It's always difficult for parents to deal w/losses of this kind. It truly makes us stop and think about what is going on in our lives and quite frankly, nothing is worse than a death. At least we can survive MLC and move forward and live our lives after the shock of it all.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
