Day by Day..Hour by Hour 2

[- MB -]

(((((Rain))))). I am sorry to hear that. Have you tried to talk to him about it? I don't mean getting mad and yelling at him, bringing up the A, etc. I mean just having him over and after the kids go to bed you sit on the couch and CALMLY bring up the subject, validate his feelings but not his actions and ask him to get help to overcome the problem. Tell him exactly what that help would look like.....IC, maybe a support group, etc. Then set clear boundaries on what it would take to move forward in your relationship if that's what you both want to do. Tell him that even if you guys don't work out, that you still want him to be happy and healthy. Tell him that you understand he is confused, hurting and doesn't know where to turn. VALIDATE his feelings. And, you have to come off as very concerned and caring, not accusing and angry (although you have EVERY reason to be!!!). Don't say anything that would make him think he's a horrible person. Yadda, yadda, yadda....

I just wonder if he's so far into it that he can't see how to get out. Maybe he just needs you to put the dots on the paper so close together that there's no way possible for him not to be able to connect them. Just a thought. I might be completely wrong. I got my H to agree to get help this way. You have to come from a place of compassion and not of anger though.

Other's may disagree with me, I'm sure they will speak up if they do.