In the Arena III- Becoming Hilariously Pleased

[Zues126]

You once commented that we won't find the intimacy we're craving in this world. I agree with that.

I posted some things on my thread that show I don't believe much in a marriage in which two people are compatible, bring out the best in each other, are functional, and fulfill each other. More and more I think this is the fantasy that people chase that destroys the reality that is achievable in this world.

What I do believe in is someone who will stick by your side even when it is bumpy. Who accepts that the butterflies don't stay forever, that we won't get all of the things we hoped we would out of our lifelong relationship. There is something even more romantic to me about the idea of two people sticking it out, even when it is just grinding through life, feeling lonely, feeling disappointed. To me that's true love. Because love is the act of staying, not the feeling of delight.

And maybe then, when those two people expect it least, they will have a moment or two in there when they realize how much they understand and love each other. Fleeting, like happiness. And like happiness it disappears if it is chased, vanishes with breakups and affairs. But if it is released and set free, it will come back and visit the marriage from time to time. But the beautiful thing is that when it leaves for a while both partners would know it will return someday. I believe that's what marriage is.

As for finding a partner that shares that belief...who knows. I am in a strange place. I can't see the future anymore. I can see now. I have goals just enough to me walking down the right path for me, then I let go and turn back to what's in front of me. I have faith that whatever is up ahead will be challenging and rewarding, whatever that is, and whether it looks like what I wanted or not, it will be ok. So the fear has mostly left me because when I have been afraid it is almost never because of where I am, and it is almost always about where I'm afraid I'll be. The more faith I have, the less fear I have. So I'd say faith is the opposite of fear.

Not the post I wanted to make either. Just saying hi to JB.

And reminding you to start a new thread.