WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[Georgia Bulldogs]

I agree it's not a "date"....it's as I said before...a "break"...a night out and away (escape) from the crisis that is your marriage.

You are "fun guy"....detached, calm and just fun.

IF there is anything romantic or any serious conversation to be had....SHE must pursue it. You actually use your detached fun guy persona to create distance and then she'll be the one "pursuing".


Some couples hysterically bond. Can be a pretty good time but avoid the inclination to think everything if fine or great. To the recent wayward...hysterical bonding might just be another form of escapism and reclamation without emotional pain/work.

She won't be ready for a bit but that doesn't stop many a wayward from trying to dive in and fix everything quickly. In the process - the foggy wayward will say some awful and hurtful things because they are still so far up their own selfish entitled butts to recognize what is truly going on. You can fight them there but they won't hear you nor are they truly ready to learn which is why you go out and just have fun. Escape with them as a distraction and way to spend time together without pressure.

The ONLY serious goal at the outset of recovery is NO CONTACT. It's all that matters. She could be convinced that it'll never work, she'll never care about you like that again, she'll never be able to love you, she'll never be able to have sex with you again - whatever. It doesn't matter because those are just feelings - feelings change ---- whereas - NO CONTACT IS FOREVER.