He loves me he loves me not

[JulieH]

One of the things I liked about husband when we met, was that we did not have to play games.

Now I feel like I am playing games. I called him yesterday just to say hi. He was responsive and it was superficial small talk type stuff. But this has been our standard conversation for a long time anyhow even before BD (although before BD I would stear convo toward relationship probably because nothing else to talk about, that and game of thrones) You know, how's work, how's family, about the kids...it's a bit of pulling teeth and boring.

I am doing this because if I dont, he will just become more of a stranger to me. He is a stranger right now. There is nothing really there. At least I don't feel like it. He has not initiated anything conversation wise. I think it's because he is not a good conversationalist but I could just be telling myself that. We also have very little in common and perhaps little going on in our lives other then work, kids, some gym. No time for hobbies or interests. My spare time has been on these boards and I can't really discuss that now can I?

What I always felt like we needed to do was to participate in a hobby together.

I am going to do a little bit more initiating some friendly calls and then see if and where he takes it. I won't initiate a date though.

It's so different then when you meet someone new and you are engaged and flirting and your heart races a bit when you talk to them. This is more of a testing the waters, figuring out what to say and what to say that won't bring up resentments. Everything a bit formal and cautious. It would be more relaxing having a conversation with someone I am interviewing with then husband right now!