More and more, and less and less...

[Zues126]

Thanks guys. I waited to reply to give others a chance. For those that haven't read it, I'm discussing my journal excerpt from 2011 when I was struggling to remain committed to my marriage.

Personally I find no shame in how I felt. Because those were feelings and thoughts. How I acted is perfectly in line with what I believe. You stay together, no matter what. That's what I did. I never had an EA/PA. I never left. I thought you stuck it out. So first off, I'm proud of that, not ashamed.

But to Julie's point, I think that EVERY marriage feels like that a lot of the time. Or some of the time. Maybe that's just me projecting my experience onto others...but I doubt it, because everyone on this board has probably felt that way and their WAS certainly did! So I think these feelings are normal in a marriage, and not a reason to get divorced. Because I also believe that if two people stay together through those times, eventually good things will happen, in one form or another. Maybe not the way we'd like it. But that's life.

Fogg, good point, but I'm actually not disappointed after reading that...it helps me remember that we're not so different. I feel more compassionate towards WAS, and it helps me keep my perspective that my life wouldn't be 'all better' if my XW hadn't left. In fact, I can truly say I'm doing better than ever now. Of course, I believe I could've been doing better than ever and still married, so I don't think D brought about my sense of appreciation, and I do think it was unnecessary...but I get why so many people fall into the trap of believing the thoughts I wrote in red. And this is why I think entitlement is the devil.