2016 a New Year - getting out of my own fog

[Irish M]

Hi Inpain

Thanks for dropping in.

I was very lucky to have her as my W and best friend.
I believe we were connected and our girls were an extension of that bond

this W is not who I married or dated.

Do I feel sorry for her . Not any more.

She will have to go throuh this alone. Sadly I can't help her and hold her and tell her it's ok. We will get through this.

So my reflection I made on myself says I need work too.

I am so much more aware of her needs.

I always planned vacations , schools , purchases and finances. My hobbies and activities became hers.

This is wrong . Yes we discussed things and decided together but I always initiated it.

I can't recall ever asking W what she dreamt of doing. I'd go kayaking , she'd join me. I love photography, she'd jon me. Hikes , she'd join me.

What did W initiate . Nothing . What did I ask her to initiate . Nothing . This was wrong.

If W comes back I want to do her activities and dreams . Still share mine but let her take me on an adventure. I'll follow for a change.

If it's not with W. It will be with someone else. I will be a better partner because of this. We are all on a journey of change. Don't fight it

Irish