Hi Inpain, I agree with you. I have some single parent friends or mixed marriages where the kids hate each other and resent the new boyfriend or girlfriend of their parent. Some even have the nerve to say life is good, they brag that they don't see their kids one week out of 2 and they have freedom. Freedom to do what they want. No family values or care for what these children have to go through. I am not one of those people. My W wasn't either. This current copy with
Oh I whole heartedly agree Irish! That really upsets me too when I hear people talking about the freedom they get by not living with their children. It makes me feel sick to the stomach. I have actually had divorced colleagues and friends say to me since H left that I will actually come to love my weekends without the kids as I will be able to do whatever I like!!!!! I cannot believe that they say this to me when I am distraught at the thought of not seeing my children when their Dad has access. I don't want freedom to do what I want, I want to be with my children every day, as I had planned to be when I had them!
Originally Posted By: IrishM
added note... thanks for the drop in on my situation. You give me strength in your words and you even shared some wisdom you picked up here. Made me smile. You are doing great.
I'm glad I managed to make you smile. I don't feel like I'm doing great, but thank you.
Originally Posted By: IrishM
Don't think about if you blew it long ago. What happened happened. You can't change the past and you acted the way you did because that is how you felt at that time. I regret not seeing this coming. 2nd time as well for me. As I look back, all the signs were there. Remember this is MLC. It was going to happen anyway. It would of happened if he was with another woman and she would be here writing this instead of you. They were programmed to do this.
Don't believe a word of what he says now, he is projecting onto you his thoughts about himself. All the never loved you, wasted so many years, you weren't there for me are all just him justifying his actions.
What you do with your future relationship with your H is up to you.
remember this phrase.. "sorry you feel that way" whenever he says something hurtful or negative about your relationship of the past. I used it often. I enjoyed saying it because it gave me power and shut the subject down.
I will try to remember that he is just projecting onto me. He does make me feel very guilty though, as though it is all my fault. But then I remind myself that he chose to look outside the M and that was the beginning of the end for us.
