The more I think about the things, the madder I seem to get. I am having a REALLY hard time the last few days trying to figure out how and why I'm making excuses for H and sitting here basically doing NOTHING while he is having an affair right under my nose and isn't even trying to hide it anymore. I mean, why am I acting like it's fine with me for him to take his time and sleep with OW in MY bed while I just sit here and cry. I have NO contact with him at all. No texts, no phone calls, no visits, no accidentally running into each other. I have not seen him or talked to him in any shape or form in almost 3 weeks. Before that, we had our fake "let's get back together" thing for 12 days but before that I hadn't seen or talked to him in 5 WEEKS. He doesn't even have to see me or think about me at all. I am nonexistent to him. He doesn't seem to notice or care that I'm not around. Just makes it easier for him that I'm not. He thinks so little about me now that I have disappeared that he FORGOT to tell OW not to park in the front where her truck would be seen. I just feel like I'm being a good girl and staying out of his way so he will have an easier time doing whatever he wants. Guess I'm just frustrated today. Having a hard time convincing myself that this will ever work. Most people at least see or text their spouses about kids or whatever, I just have zero contact at all....ever day.....for weeks....and it won't end unless or until I go over there. I hear everyone when they say to give him time to miss me, but I already know he won't contact me. When I broke up with him years ago.....it took him 18 years to contact me! Am I supposed to wait 18 years to hear from him again? When I talked to him right before Christmas he said that he thought I was never coming back and that I had moved on without him. So, he was moving on with OW. I really wish someone would tell me what I'm supposed to do. I just can't sit here for months and never here from him ever. Feeling hopeless today.
Hey MB,
I think I could have written a similar post a few months ago. I am in a similar spot, BD was about 7 months ago, she moved out about a month after that. The first month was minimal contact. From Mid aug through the end of october I was full no contact. When I say no contact, I mean no contact... nada. I ignored her bday. Then it was minimal contact through early December when I decided I would not initiate contact again. She sent a flurry of texts around xmas, then stopped. I sent her a pretty generic one about taxes a few weeks later and she responded and seemed to want to talk more. But I let it go. Then last week she texted me with some temp checks, the first ones I have gotten. Anyway, i just want to say I feel you and you could read through my threads to see my mind set.
I had gone through this before with her (we were bf/gf) so I know how it works. I think you are mind reading too much. It is hard not to I know. When I think of WW, I think she could be totally happy, completely miserable or any where in between. I deleted her number from my phone (my memory stinks) this keeps me from randomly texting her. I blocked her on FB, now I see minimal info about her on there.
The people here helped me a lot... they keep me focused and are always questioning why I want to do what I want to do (in a good way :-). There are a few of us in a similar situation on here. Staying busy with a PMA were/are key for me.
