I used to have a full and busy life and now I'm just a mess.
So, it's time to get back to that. What steps will you take today to "refill" your life?
Originally Posted By: NYGal
And I have to keep getting better. I have to.
Again, I ask to you: what are you going to do to get better? It isnt going to just 'happen'.
My advice - take this: I have to remember: the affair can't last if she already has "major concerns". We had such a sweet and tender relationship and we loved each other deeply. We will get another chance. and file it away in some lock box. We all know that the A is doomed. But you cant focus on it. The more you focus on it, the more difficult time you have in rebuilding. Leave W, OW, your R, their A, all of it....let it be. Because here's a secret - just because the A ends, it doesnt mean W will want to take you back AND it doesnt mean you will want to take HER back.
It's time for you to take control of YOUR life. What fun stuff do you have planned this week? What new people are you going to meet?
On Friday my boss gave me a stern warning about crying at work. Sometimes it just seems hopeless.
You got in trouble for crying? Seriously? Not "Hey, is everything okay?" or "What's wrong? Anything I can help you with?"or "You look really upset today. Do you want to talk?" Instead, you got a stern warning? I can't even imagine how that would look on a job resume. "Got fired from last job for being too emotional during a divorce and CRYING." Your boss sounds like a real friendly person. Want me to come beat him up for you? LOL
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Your boss sounds like a real friendly person. Want me to come beat him up for you? LOL
Would you MB? I'll return the favor. Do you have anyone in mind?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Again, I ask to you: what are you going to do to get better? It isnt going to just 'happen'. I GO TO A REBUILDING SEMINAR ONCE A WEEK, I'M READING THE LOST ART OF LISTENING, WHICH WONKA RECOMMENDED, I'M LOOKING AT A LOT OF POSTS ON HERE. I'M SPENDING TIME WITH FRIENDS. I EXERCISE EVERY DAY. I GO TO THERAPY. I TAKE A MULTI-VITAMIN!! AND I'M GOING TO LOOK INTO ST. JOHNS WORT TOO.
It's time for you to take control of YOUR life. What fun stuff do you have planned this week? What new people are you going to meet?
FUN STUFF? Well, I'm swimming tonight. Dinner with friends tomorrow night and then again on Thursday. Weekends are still tough -- can't plan that far ahead.
I'm trying, I really am trying. Thanks for keeping me on my toes.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I know you had a rough weekend NYG. How is today treating you?
Today is much better, Rain. It was confirmed that the weekend was hard for a lot of folks. Several people at the Rebuilding Seminar last night said the same thing. I hope you're having a good Monday!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
It sounds like you're kicking A$$ when it comes to GALing. So proud of you and your efforts on that front. Keep on keeping on....baby!
Trust me. The crying jags will tamper off. Try not do it at the office although I'd like to have some choice words with your boss. Grrrrrrr! I'd have to say that I kept it together at the office...just a few brief sad moments. But HE77 if I cried at the office...not my style anyway.
I haven't cried out loud at the office in a while, so hopefully that's under control. Still looking over my shoulder though, and trying to do the best job evah.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I have some hopeful news. W appeared outside my office window this morning, looking up at me. I waved, waved again. No response. She looked so sad. So I walked out there, and we had a relationship talk that she initiated. Bottom line, she misses me, misses the dogs, misses the energy I brought to the house, apologized for the lies and deception, says she needs more time alone. I said I do, too, and that we should take this time to focus on each of us individually, so that we're both healthier. She reiterated that she wants to find a therapist.
I'll share details later. (I'm at work and have to keep this job!)
Cautiously optimistic. I'll re-read the validation cheat sheet one more time, and keep on GALing!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I'd have to say that I kept it together at the office...just a few brief sad moments. But HE77 if I cried at the office...not my style anyway.