WW, My Addiction, Patience, and HOPE Part II

[trumpet]

Tyler,

I like to think that God give us MORE than we can handle - that's how he tempers us to a stronger steel. How we are refined - in the furnace.

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate them.

It has been an emotional whirlwind this weekend.

From being served on Friday, telling the kids, all of them crying, it was a very bad Friday.
I avoided my wife, nothing was said. I moved more stuff out of the bedroom and bathroom.
I gave my wife some papers that we're zero'd out on our bank accounts, and we both need to contribute to the joint to keep the boat from sinking this month. She was ok with that.

She, like almost all waywards, came back with 'this doesn't have to be contentious, we can be friends along the way'... I told her we would no longer be friends, and we would just co-parent. She said she was getting an apartment - I said great, I was planning on asking you to leave anyway. She made mention that it was down the road - I told her I don't give a s&*t where the place is - it's her biz now.

Well, after a couple hours, I talked with her for 2 minutes before I went to bed... how I'll be fine, and she can be mad that I told them about the D first, but she's filing, she's the one who pulled the trigger, and she is the one in the affair. After a bit of a silence on her part, I left.

I had to get something from the bathroom an hour later. I found her crying, and looking at old pictures, wedding photos, etc in bed. She asked me to come to her side and look at them with her.

After her talking with me, the ring went back on, and Sunday morning, she insisted that she was calling the lawyer on Monday to cancel the divorce.

She sent me proof this morning that she sent the email to the lawyers.

So, how do I feel? Really messed up. Like I have multiple years taken off of my life. That we MIGHT have a future together. That my wife realizes her actions for the first time in 6 months. That to her the family is more important than her feelings. That her brain is finally seeing above the heart fog.

I need help, ladies and gents. I'm happy, but really scared. She knows this. She asked why - well, duh, we've been thru hell, and we've done this dance. She did say she realizes that D is not the answer, she just doesn't know what the answer is.

I told her that's a great question, and that I don't know either, but that's for her and I to find out, talking with a counselor, and that through this I never thought D was the answer.

Maybe filing, and realizing what it did to the kids, and how I reacted (essentially removing her from my life for 2 days) was able to bust the fog just enough to engage the brain.

Sandi said her daughter busted the fog to get her to realize what she was doing. My D14 wrote some strong words in some texts to my wife on Friday PM - my wife has admitted she sat there stunned at her desk, knowing what my daughter was saying was true.

Out of the mouths of babes...

I really need your help, everyone. Those who have been on the other side of the D, or no D, but reconciling. What do I do? DR was my roadmap for the most part, with lots of Christian love in there, and now, I really don't want to screw this up.