Where I am...

[Georgia Bulldogs]

GB - It's like 58/42 or something. I am keeping track. And actually you were the reason awhile ago. I think you posted something similar about when kids grow up and that prompted the note taking.

So I made a mistake today and was caught.

I made plans with my sister to go to her house with my kids and see the cousins, and then go skiing on Saturday and Sunday. This required me to leaver early today.

I made those plans and then realized D had a Doc Appointment. So I rescheduled it out 2 months (it is her 5 yr checkup and was already pushed).

I then got this text from X:

If you couldn't bring her, I could have asked my mom?? She is over due as it is.

If she had any sense of custody battle ammunition saying "I could have asked my mom" and still leaving the decisions to you instead of saying "I would have handled it and I already called and rescheduled it for _____, 2016 during one of my days" was completely stupid. It's actually good that you got that response and it's just one more document/statement of "I can't care for my own children" in your notebook of evidence SHOULD YOU NEED IT ONE DAY. See....the implication here is that you (and her mom) handle the kids medical needs and cares.

Then X's Mom calls, I was on a conference call and didn't pick up.

Good job not answering and getting this stuff in writing

X then sends this:

In the future please consult me before you cancel an appointment for the kids. I could have made it work.

You should have just said "Of course, I just didn't want to put more on your plate and this isn't your mom's responsibility"

I called back the Doc and rescheduled for next Tuesday (there was a timely cancelation between my calls... go figure).

Nice job taking the initiative and getting this rescheduled. Instead of engaging in a debate/fight about this issue (which is what they wanted to hammer home), you instead focused on your child's needs first and got her another appointment. Picking up that phone and calling the doctor was perfect. Kids first - then frame it in that context as though judge may someday read my responses

But I was already upset, and obliged her bait.... I responded at like take 5...

I've got an earlier appointment to Tuesday they had a cancellation. If you can't bring her I can. My reasoning was to help out my sister. How do we get to a point of mutual co-parenting for the best of the children.

I don't think this is bad. It's a nice open ended question with your primary concern seeming to be the children and their well-being (supposedly best achieved by great co-parenting) and implying that the failure to
co-parent is a joint responsibility and joint failure (meaning she is messing it up too and you just want to do better by the kids).

I should haven't wrote it. But I was frustrated and let it get the best of me. I then wrote an additional response after I came up for air, but I haven't sent it.

"You were right about the appointment she needed something sooner. I made plans haphazardly ahead of time. I shouldn’t have rescheduled so hastily. I also shouldn’t have written the last question. When you read that sentence I bet you think I am putting it on you, like it is your issue to solve. I am not. It is ours to improve, I honestly don’t know how or where to start. He was brought to my attention a long time ago, before I stopped following you on insta/facebook, before I offered my kidney and before the letter. I waited patiently for you to step forward. I have removed myself from your family to the best I can giving you the space in which you wanted. But the kids are our connection, they tell me he is sleeping over and participating. As a loving father I’m asking you to be careful and look out for their best interests. 2 weeks ago D cried for almost an hr talking about you being sick, hospitals and me fixing it. They are scared, worried and don’t understand. But they pick up on fragments of every conversation. We are going to My Sisters’s. X-Nephew has had a difficult time at XMas understanding why you weren’t around. If possible please let me know ahead of time when you will be calling so I can get the kids away from him. "

I haven't sent the above. Having an outlet helps me, as long as I get there to use it.

Obviously not a good idea. Especially in writing. You want to maintain a file that will please the court and make you appear the parent the most concerned with and active in the "best interests of the children". Sure XW having guys spend the night is not in the kids best interest but putting it in writing sure leaves a lot of room to make you appear vindictive and overly concerned with her sex life. Such items are best stated in person....face to face and let HER react in writing in an obnoxious manner if she so chooses while you respond with "I don't care who you sleep with. It upsets our kids and I have to deal with the fallout. I'd prefer you just keep single men away from our children. There are plenty of nights for you to date when they are with me. I just pray you'll exercise discretion and care when bringing strange men around our children with the understanding that pedophiles target single mothers with small children.".