Hi - just wanted to say I am sorry all the feelings are hitting you. Post and vent often to get it all out. We have all been there!

Regarding your h's cycling/spinning, when my h does this, I calm down and take a few minutes to decide what I want to do FOR ME (despite h's presence or whatever he says). In the beginning when I was unused to all his fluctuations it was very hard, but soon it became second nature.

Focus on you and making YOU happy.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced