Return or My WW - Staying Stong!

[Strngr!]

Hey all hit a bit of a posting hiatus again. Well wife dropped a huge bomb on me today when she was over at the house picking up a few things. Anyway she told me she been struggling with something that she hasnt been able to talk to anyone about. I said she can talk to me. She said no i cant so i guessed and said your pregneny... she responded not anymore said she had s procedure. Im in shock by this news and have a heavy heart i know i shouldnt feel bad for her but i do. Shes made some seriosly bad choices over the last few months and its lead her to here. She wanted to talk more but I had to go i was going to my parents for dinner. Am i crazy for feeling bad for her i thought i was doing well with detatchment untill these feelins startes coming forward. She wants to get together and talk sometime soon should i agree to get together?

[otw]

what do you feel towards her?

I think it is a good opportunity for you to be a new man

[Strngr!]

There is another thing ive been stuggling with... that is my sex drive is getting the best of me. Ive been dipping my feet into the online dating pool. I realize its not the best idea because i often find myself feeling worse after talking/chatting with the girls i meet on there. I guess im curious if others have come up with a goos way to handle the sexual urges.

[Strngr!]

what do you feel towards her?

I think it is a good opportunity for you to be a new man

I sometimes miss her wish we could go back in time and fix things before she met this OM. but I feel a bit on the fence. Somedays i feel like i deserve better. I did give her a hug when she told and said im there for her if she needs me.

What do you mean its a good oportunity to be a new man?

[otw]

i am really not too caught up on your situation, but I am assuming there are things that she say about you that led her to want to find OM. true or not, but i have learned during all of this that we all have some faults in our M not working.
So i meant it will be a good chance for her to see you in a different light again. That is if you are even interested in some day reconciling.

as long as you did some work on yourself .


As far as the urges, I feel you on that. I do not have an answer either! I feel exactly the same after i meet and talk to some females. It is fun during the time but then the next day is awful. I can't pull myself to try and set something up because it does not feel right.

I have no clue why I am so hard on myself about this, I think in the back of my mind it will hurt chances of me and W working. Stupid, i know but just where i am now.

[Strngr!]

Thanks OTW for the reaponce. There are obviosly places where i let her down in order to send her down the path she went down. At the same time i do beleive i need her support in fixing some of those issues. Ive tried working on my listening and communication skill. She was always concerened i didnt give her enough emotional attention i can give more in that area but i feel i will need some help in other areas taking care of her/her being more independent in order for me not to burn out and crash like i have in the past. I do think i would like to reconcile if she is truely interested in that and had cut contact with other man which i highly doubt is the case at this point since they work together. I guess ill meet up with her when shes asks to talk wnd hear her out.

[Strngr!]

I guess i should just be there for her as a ear to listen if she calls and wants to chat.

[Strngr!]

I guess i should just be there for her as a ear to listen if she calls and wants to chat.

[Azzork]

At the same time i do beleive i need her support in fixing some of those issues. Ive tried working on my listening and communication skill.

Im a little confused. Why do you need her help to fix that? You can learn how to listen and communicate with family, friends, coworkers, and random people on the street. What do you need her for?

I guess i should just be there for her as a ear to listen if she calls and wants to chat.

To some extenet. But remember that she FIRED you from the job of being her emotional support. So, I think listen + validate, but not more than you would with a casual acquaintance. I wouldnt go out of your way to make sure she knows how emotionally invested you are in her right now.

[Strngr!]

Guess i should journal a bit to catch everyone up to speed on where Im at. So my WW has been out of the house for something like 20 day now. It kinda nice and life just seems that much easier with her out of the house. It helps me to realize how much she didnt help out around the house and how much effort i put into taking care of her without getting anything in return. This are going well for the excanges of S1.5 she ended up picking up an extra hour at work and now works longer then me so now me picking up S early enough is a moot point. I have continued with my re-arranged work schedule as i was enjoying the extra time with him and it hasnt realy effected my work at all. If anything im getting more done cause im in early those days. The times when i have S i have been doing very well feeling good getting stuff done around the house and all. Unfortunatly time without s1 i have been feeling lonely and like i said earlier i have been dealing with that going on dating websites and such. Again maybe its just too soon for that as it always makes me feel guilty or more lonely after a bit of time passes. Anyway that is enough rambling for now think ill try to stay more active on here see if that helps with the lonelyness