Here again after 9 years and struggling 3

[Irish M]

I think it is completely selfish of adults to do this to their children (no offence to your parents or anyone else). As I said, now as an adult I wouldn't want to live in two different houses and live out of a suitcase all my life and I don't want it for my children. It breaks my heart.

Hi Inpain, I agree with you. I have some single parent friends or mixed marriages where the kids hate each other and resent the new boyfriend or girlfriend of their parent. Some even have the nerve to say life is good, they brag that they don't see their kids one week out of 2 and they have freedom. Freedom to do what they want. No family values or care for what these children have to go through. I am not one of those people. My W wasn't either. This current copy with

added note... thanks for the drop in on my situation. You give me strength in your words and you even shared some wisdom you picked up here. Made me smile. You are doing great.

It leaves me feeling that there really isn't any hope for my M, as H has already told me, I blew it a long time ago by treating him how I did. I felt I had my reasons,

Don't think about if you blew it long ago. What happened happened. You can't change the past and you acted the way you did because that is how you felt at that time. I regret not seeing this coming. 2nd time as well for me. As I look back, all the signs were there. Remember this is MLC. It was going to happen anyway. It would of happened if he was with another woman and she would be here writing this instead of you. They were programmed to do this.

Don't believe a word of what he says now, he is projecting onto you his thoughts about himself. All the never loved you, wasted so many years, you weren't there for me are all just him justifying his actions.

What you do with your future relationship with your H is up to you.

remember this phrase.. "sorry you feel that way" whenever he says something hurtful or negative about your relationship of the past. I used it often. I enjoyed saying it because it gave me power and shut the subject down.

Hugs to you
Irish