Zues and JellyB I am grateful for all of your reflection and thoughts. Today I am struggling a little because I think I need to make a firmer boundary with SH. Since this conversation above, he has been texting me in very friendly ways--checking up during the snowstorm, etc. Part of my wants to have hope (I have been rereading DB too) but another part of me knows that things can't just be friendly like they were before. This man wants to D me and I can't just go on being old accommodating, cheerful Ladybir.
I really respect both of your positions. I know in my own life that I have had relationships like the kind you had with Mr. M, relationships that now seem like a too small pair of shoes.
Zues, I also agree with you, although I know that in my case, the conflict over having children means that my time is running a bit short if I want to try to NC with someone else. Otherwise, I would agree that separating and seeing what falls where would be more my speed.
I wish I could look into a crystal ball and know the future, know the best path, but I guess it is one of the joys and cruelty of life that we only have the moment we live in, right now.
That said, Zues, I would be very curious to hear exactly HOW you detached--what does that look like? How did you deal with day to day communications? Do you have any suggestions? I am doing my best to keep busy, to GAL. I was NC for awhile and although it was hard, I think it was a more empowering position. I am contemplating going dark again even though things are in a more peaceful place with SH.
At the end of the week I have mediation with SH, It just seems so strange that we could chit chat right up to that appointment. I think JB is right--I need to focus on rebuilding me, as painful as it is.
