No, you definitely cannot believe a word they say. I found out about my H's A after finding over 1,000 text messages to a strange number at all hours of the day and night. When I confronted him, he first claimed not to know the number. Then he said it was a co-worker whom he "talked shop" with. He claimed he told this "friend" that I had discovered the messages and was upset, so she apologized and backed off out of respect. Then there were no more texts on the phone bill.
In reality, he had told OW that I was his "crazy ex" and not to talk to me if I called her. He then got a pre-pay phone and told her he got a new number because I was harassing him. I DID call her to try to figure out who she was, and she was rude to me and said she didn't know him. A couple weeks later, however, she got suspicious and called me back. Not only did he tell her I was his crazy ex when we were very much together and trying to have another baby, but he was feeding her a total line of bull too. She had no idea he was married, and he was telling her he wanted to have a family with her, etc., etc. By the time it all shook out, he admitted to us both that he never cared anything about her and was in love with me, but he just wanted someone who was easy sex and good for his ego. It was really brutal all the way around. I actually felt sorry for OW because she hadn't known about me, and was really in love with him and thinking they were building a future together.
I think when they are hopped up on all the feel good chemicals from the A, they simply are not able to care about anyone or anything but themselves.
