Need support navigating the change in my marriage

[G8r]

I'm a bit angry and hurt today. A few weeks ago I saw that a local play house was doing Peter Rabbit and suggested we take D3 to see it. Fast forward to this past Friday morning, my WW and I were talking which eventually led to argument because she doesn't like that I don't respond to her texts asking about D3 when she chooses to see om or visit her father like she did last week. I do respond to her texts, it's more like I take an hour or 2 which she doesn't like because she is "worried". Really??? Drop the om and stay home to work on R and we wouldn't have the problem, I digress.

I told her I didn't see it as a problem and didn't plan to change the way I respond so she told me I was not welcome to go with her and D3 to Peter Rabbit since this was her weekend to be with D3. I left immediately to prevent further escalation.

Last night she texted me saying, "if I tell her here and there that she is ok then I am welcome to go". I chose not to respond because I didn't know if I should go or not. I wanted to go and be with D3 but I also was upset that WW was using seeing my D3 as a bargaining chip and I didn't want to reinforce that behavior. Interestingly, she thinks I'm using D3 as bargaining chip because I know she worries so I should jump to respond and let her know she is ok. Sounds like a control issue to me. Up to this point I was doing ok.

This morning, WW let me know that she gave my ticket away since I didn't respond. I shouldhave left that alone but I felt compelled to let her know the reason that I wasn't going was because I was upset that she was using D3 to get what she wanted. I need to get better at breathing and walking away because that led to another argument. It's gotten to the point where she feels she can't be in the same room as me for 5 minutes without us arguing. I don't agree, but that is irrelevant if I hope to R.

I'm exhausted and don't want to argue with her. I try to avoid and walk away but I'm not very good at it. Getting better though. I really feel that the only reason we argue is because the om is in the picture and she thinks she wants to get married to him and have a child as quick as possible. If he wasn't in the picture, my WW and I could possibly work on R. She has even said so herself but she refuses to dump him. Grrrrrr.

I've begun to ask myself, why in the world do I want to be with someone who has made it clear recently that she doesn't want to be with me. I don't really know. I miss my old W and I'm fearful of losing my family, not being around my D3 every day and that I may not have anymore children because it seems like it will be too late by the time I get over this M and find another relationship.
Sooooooo sad.