REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!

[- MB -]

Thanks Rain. Sure wish I was sleeping, but so far that eludes me. Have been up reading and thinking all night. I'm okay now I guess. I realized not long after I saw her vehicle there that I already KNEW about everything so really nothing had changed. Even though I knew that, it took me a few hours to actually convince myself of it. Nothing has changed.

I think the reason it hit me so hard is that things just haven't felt right for the last couple of weeks. He has taken time off work, been out of town twice, returned home but still didn't go back to work, etc. This just isn't like him. But, then again, NONE of this is like him! Anyway, I had tried really hard to believe that he had gone to the Dr and gotten some antidepressants and was actually taking them. I tried to believe that the reason he had taken off work, seemed to be having less contact with OW, etc was because he was actually taking the AD and was starting to realize what he is doing and that his thinking is screwed up which might bring him a little closer to turning back to me. When I saw the vehicle there, it was like suddenly that dream was crushed along with my heart.

Anyway, I'm trying to be okay with it now. Not much else I can do. Hopefully I will go to sleep soon. Goodnight.