The begining of the rest of my new life? (3)

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I'd advise not asking her. But if you really feel like it's something you need to do, then do it. Only you can decide what is right for you, and none of us will judge you - ever. If you do decide to ask her, then please post here so that we can help you if you run into unexpected trouble.

I have a confession to make.
I invited the lady for dinner.
I decided to do it because I needed to prove myself that I could.
I have come to the conclusion that I have been dependent of my STBXW, needy. She was the second girlfriend I had and after marrying I thought I did not need to put any effort in it, she was mine forever.
This activity would free me from her, would prove that I can be with other women if I choose to. Ultimately, that if I still want to be with STBXW is because I choose to do it and not because I am stuck and cannot find anyone else.
After my invitation for dinner, this lady said she could have lunch, not dinner, and so we did.
It happened yesterday.
I dressed properly, although not formally, and put some cologne.
This is a big 180 for me.
I know that for years STBXW want me to take better care of myself. I considered that if STBXW loved me she would love me despite the rags I wore. Substance is more important than form, I told myself countless times.
For all of you to see how stupid I was, only after BD I started shaving every day!! And now I cannot go out without a proper shaved face.
We met and I chose the restaurant. This is another thing I learned from these forums. Women like men that take the initiative.
Lunch was pleasant.
We exchanged points of view about our two very different countries, talked about some personal interests and additionally about the purpose of our meeting. She sells facial creams and I wanted to know what she could tell me about taking care of my skin. When I finish DB’ing I will be a true metrosexual, I tell you!!
I never felt attraction for her.
She is beautiful, exotic and has excellent skin, but I never felt I would want more than having a nice talk. This is interesting, because some days ago I fantasized about having sex on our first date (I am in a eight yearlong sexless marriage).
We did not reach the point of going into much detail about our personal life.
I don’t know if she has a boyfriend or not (I would assume she has not, but look at me) and I never told her about my separation and kids.
We did not schedule any follow up meeting.
We will be communicating via email since I was interested in some of the creams she sells.
All in all, it was a very big step I took.
Was it a mere GAL activity or something more dangerous? Was it a way to detach from STBXW or plain and simple treason to my marriage vows?
These questions are present in my mind right now.

Anyway, if I did not believe in a supernatural power, which I do because I am Christian, I would have started believing after yesterday.
Last Thursday was the last time I had the kids with me.
S9 forgot his homework package at my place, so I had to go to STBXW’s place to return it. Otherwise I would only be with the kids this Tuesday.
Before the lunch with the lady I called STBXW and asked if she was home. She said yes and I said I would be at her place in five minutes.
Ten seconds after hanging up, STBXW calls me back. I pick up the phone and it’s S9 on the other side. He asks me if we want to have lunch with them!!
I thought that STBXW had already understood the message.
I will not be taking part in family activities with her and the kids, no matter how much I want to, no matter how much I know the kids would love to. She invited me for her birthday back in October and I declined. Another occasion she invited me to be with them and I also declined. STBXW’s best friend invited me for her birthday and I also declined.
How come that precisely on this day, of all days, the first day in more than 16 years that I am going out for lunch with a woman I am in no relation with, STBXW also invites me to have lunch with my family??