Him contributing to the finances and the sex stuff was something we've been working on in counseling since the first visit. He agreed (again in counseling) to give me $350/wk. to cover his expenses as well as help with some of the others. The counselor even figured out how much he'd have to earn per hour to be able to do so; she gave him some places to apply. Instead, he goes out and gets another straight commission sales job even though he told me the job had a $250 draw against commission...an outright lie. My assignment was to quit covering for him. The deal was that he pays the truck payment/cell phone payment or he doesn't have a truck or cell phone. He agreed to this (in counseling).
He paid the truck payment in Feb. although he's now saying that he had to borrow money from his boss to do so. He also said that his boss paid his cell phone bill; I got a disconnect notice a few days ago with a balance of $515 and there's still a $265 balance. He's been pissed ever since agreeing to me not paying and now he's gone.
I have no idea how he racks up so much time on the cell phone. He does get appts (1-2 brief calls a day) and may call customers to get directions (2-3 brief calls a day). I pulled up the current statement today, and he had 1900+ minutes for outgoing calls last month.
It makes me sick to give up on my marriage, but I really don't have a choice. He'll never come back if he has to help out financially or be intimate; I've gotten that message loud and clear. I don't think that he's ever had to take care of himself, and he is not an "adult" even though he's 38. I'm really hurting, feeling stupid, trying to figure out what to do, and how to protect myself. All while he's living rent-free at his friend's house with no worries.
