Hi Isit, I'm no vet, but thrilled to make it onto your list and be perceived as one!! My sitch is very much ongoing and headed firmly towards D at this point...but anyway, I'll offer some input for sure.

I think Zues (as ever) offers some wise insight here:

"I wouldn't drive the bus and be the one to lead the separation, but I wouldn't resist it either. Let her do the work, but be ready to make your own space when that comes."

One of the things that has helped me is accepting that my H seems to need this and letting him go. I have told him D isn't what I want, but if he doesn't want 'us' I respect his choice. You could do the same WRT a possible separation and then make the best of things.

In the short term, I would keep yourself busy and await the letter, whilst getting yourself to a point of acceptance as S may well happen. I think the important place to get to for yourself is - if we S, what is going to be best for me and the kids - then try to work towards that outcome.

Take care smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus