Now what/ Take 2

[melweb]

Not posted in quite a bit, but I have lurked to check up on others.

Ironically, I was going to post soon and qive a quick update on my sitch, and that post was going to contain mostly good and positive news. H and I have (had??) made some really good progress on M. Knowing what went wrong and how to fix it-- that we took each other for granted, and put our marriage last, all the usual stuff I guess when marriages go sour. We have told friends and family that we are on track and not separating. There have been lots of "I love you's, lots of love notes and emails. Plenty of "I'm sorry's" and even some "Thank yous" for saving this marriage.

As you may have read my bone of contention is his cell phone. I am unsure an EA or PA ever happened, may never know and not sure I want to know. But I do know of these new friendships with females that he kept hidden, and is still kind of hiding. He is aware this makes me uncomfortable/ jealous/ insecure.

Well last night as we lay in bed, he is texting. Clearly he knows I am perturbed, and says " you should see this hottie." Now I am hurt. Tries to make it a joke, that shes 25 yrs old, works for the company, has a boyfriend... Etc.
He ends up going to his own room, blaming me for " being pissy."

This morning he apologizes, I accept his apology. Guess we are good. Except I am not really. It was hurtful, I feel like he puts these friendships before me and our marriage, something we said we were no longer going to do. I have a hard time being upbeat and confident, so I leave the house for a little bit. I return to make dinner, and he comes to kitchen with no phone. Thank Goodness!!
But not for long! He goes to get it and it puts me on edge. Why or why cannot Let. This. Go.?? It def puts a damper on our night. We go to separate rooms, something we have not done since R.

I send him a text asking if he is coming in to watch tv, he says no. Then replies, he is " having a hard time with this, and we need to take our time."

As I type this, I know its sounds..... petty. That he is entitled to his feelings, as am I. I feel like a teenage girl for crying out loud.

Am I back to Square One, and begin DB'ing again? I have maintained my 180s for the most part, my GAL never really got off the ground, but I finally heard from job and they want to go to the next step. I look good. I am happy and when I just can't be, I leave the house.

Or am I reading too much into this??