At this point, do I keep doing the friendly thing, or should I pull back more.
Nothing wrong with being friendly if there is no pursuit or expectation in it. Just a friendly guy moving through his day.
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XW is telling me some things in her life, not all or even most. Should I try and pull back and let her miss me, or keep showing her that I care, and have bettered myself?
From the way you said that it sounds to me like you're still on that control paradigm where you're hoping to induce a certain response in her based on your actions or your intensity level. If she engages you in conversation, you could listen, validate, and be generally nice without going too far, couldn't you?
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Or does it even matter anymore?
Wherever you go in life, and whoever you go there with, being a strong, kind, independent gentleman can't hurt you with your XW as long as you are managing your expectations, and it certainly can't hurt you with with the other women out there who wish they had a guy like you.
