WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[Georgia Bulldogs]

Your snooping didn't put the nail in the coffin....other than, perhaps, your failure to snoop two or three years ago when this all started.

Snooping is just a convenient rationalization and justification for your wife to pull the trigger on the divorce she's been contemplating for years now.

Her behavior reeks of wayward wife. Maybe it was long ago. Maybe it's someone at work and they are very good (after years of practice) at keeping it quiet.

I find it interesting that she is very certain to put the "we've been separated since september" comment in her revelation of the divorce information to her parents and probably others. This is wayward spin (no matter how true it is about your in-house separation) to emphasize that even if she starts dating quickly here....that it's OK because the marriage has been over for awhile now.

Do move out. Tell your employer and indicate you would prefer not to travel much this year while you try to fight for as much custody as you can of your children.

Don't roll over. Your children are better off around you and with you. Leaving does not make your chances of reconciliation better. You'll just be backing up the "frame job" your wife is putting out there that it's an "amicable" divorce.

Finally - YOU MATTER TOO. She may LIKE and prefer an "amicable divorce" but what that actually means to a walkaway probably wayward wife is YOU give her whatever she wants and make things easy for her. Divorce is never "amicable" unless you give in and give up. Take back the context and say "Yes, amicable divorce would be great and since you want to leave/divorce....then go. I'll let you take all your stuff and pay you a reasonable settlement and we'll be done with this "amicably". You'll even give her lots of visitation with the children (but they stay in their home). THAT would be amicable...but that, of course, NOT what her selfish entitled butt wants.

I'm sorry it's come to this for you. You've done and tried everything possible to save your marriage for several years now. There is no magic pill. Your wife is lost to you, herself and her family. Don't love bust her ....just go see your attorney and keep saying you agree an "amicable" divorce is best but your attorney is just defending you. Since you didn't want the divorce....don't talk about it with her. Let your attorney handle it and you just keep detaching and GAL. Don't agree to anything with her...let your attorney negotiate for you while you live your life and spend time with your kids.