I think what makes you such a popular poster is that you are different and I am happy that you do not want to change to conform to hypocrisies that you observe around you. Who knows what our world would be like if there weren't people that stood up for what they believed was right. Kind of like that kid from the emperors new clothes.
I am very close to my brothers. I have one brother that reminds me of you. He is well read, brilliant, witty, and very noble and has always thought differently from others. He is honest and very eccentric. So much fun to hang out with because he brings out these really original conversations that most people would shy away from or find inappropriate or weird but has a way of making it inoffensive and funny. When we were in high school and college. (We are close in age) I was always giving him what I thought was great sisterly advise to help him with women. I would try to tell him about clothing and I remember even telling him to never Admit about his lack of experience with women (he's actually good looking just did not have that suave character that women stupidly fall for). I would point out these things that guys did to get women to fall for them. I am so happy he never listened to me. At the time I thought I was helping him, but how ridiculous was I? He was great as he was and anyone that couldn't see that, simply didn't deserve him. I was trying to teach him how to conform because I thought that would get him what he wanted.
He is practical and ended up marrying a pushy woman that is just as witty. So they have fun and kind of accept and laugh at each other's character flaws. She is not as educated as him and to his dismay is more interested in popular culture then in some of the things he is interested in, But he just laughs at it (not in a critical way) and accepts her for the qualities that keep them working as a unit.
Anyway, I think when you are ready, my only advise would be to find someone that can accept some of the flaws you describe in yourself. Why wouldn't she looks past these when you have so many wonderful attributes? Our faults also contribute to our positives no? (For ex, I am stubborn but I am also extremely loyal). If she cannot she does not deserve you.
I think you will need to to do the same for whoever your partner will be.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
