WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

Hi Zeus

Thanks for reading my thread and yes I have read all your posts over the last few weeks/months on all threads.

I pick out posts by you, Sandi2, Azzork, Zeph, CaliGuy and a few others.

I understand what you mean in the highlights above. It was more of : Can my behaviour, change her decision, get her to pause.

BUT stupidly my behaviour has made things worse. My snooping and paranoia over whether she is having an EA/PA led to 3 big bustups when she was at her most vulnerable - grieving for her Father.

It doesnt really matter, what matters is going forward not looking back. The marriage is dead and I dont want the old one back. She doesnt love me, I have no control over that, I cant influence who she loves. There is no OM.

Do I separate? It will give me and W space and I can GAL, detach better. She will experience some loss, financial, less time with the boys, her life will be harder without me babysitting, doing housework etc.

I can get over my fear of her dating as soon as I am out of the house, Out of sight, out of mind etc. I can get over the fear and humiliation of friends and work colleagues finding out. We both work in a specialist Medical field and have mutual friends/acquanitances across the country.

I am not perfect but overall I am happy as to who I am as a man. I will take the next few weeks/months to analyse and reflect were I have gone wrong - how I can improve - become a better man.