WAW - Detaching is the Hardest Thing

[isittoolate]

W has seen a solicitor and I can expect a letter in the next few days - she has started divorce proceedings.

The conversation was brief - I kept it short as there was no way I was going to get good news and I didn't want to start pleading, begging, reasoning etc.

She said in our last R talk I had made it clear that I wouldn't D her, or separate and she said we couldn't continue just living in separate bedrooms.

She is Divorcing me under Unreasonable behaviour - which is a catch all in the UK.

She wanted to tell me in person and not just receive the letter. She said I would be angry, hurt and upset - I was actually relatively calm, and didn't raise my voice.

She said she wants an amicable divorce and we should both tell the boys in a few days when things are calmer.

She has told her sister only - and has told her mum we have been separated since Sept - in house.

I am not totally spinning , just a bit surprised she has done this so soon, and without saying separate or she will go for D.

Since the funeral 9 days ago, we haven't spent an evening together, either she goes out, goes to bed early or I have been in Greece.. I knew things were bad , the worst they have ever been.

I did ask her how she could love me this time last year and a few months later doesn't love me. She stated she had tried after our bust up in Dec 14, but doesn't love me.
For sure my snooping put the last nail in the M coffin. After that she took wedding rings off and put away wedding photos and stated I was the enemy within.

I know I must detach and concentrate on my boys. GAL is relatively easy. I will be in London on Monday working and meeting an old friend, then I am working in Wales for 3 days and will visit another old work colleague.

Any advice is welcome.