Oh dear Rain. That sounds so sad. And maddening, too. It seems that you handled the texts very well, actually. Stay strong. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Thabks NYG. Im a blubbering mess LOL. Ugh. I just want the pain to end. Like OKAYYYYY I get it. You don't want me. Then leave me be. Stop texting me every day calling me your love and beautiful. Just leave me alone so that I can get over you then!
Rain, it all sounds so confusing -- the texts and the sweet words, but then saying he hopes you find someone else. It just doesn't make sense. Do you really want him to leave you alone? I can see why you would. Everyone says that if we have NC, we'll feel better and get better. I fight it with every fiber of my being, and whenever I hear her voice or see her I feel better. It's sick. (Of course when I see her with OW, which I haven't yet, that won't feel very good at all. Ick.)
You go right ahead and blubber away. Let it all out. I'm thinking of you.
((((((((Rain75)))))))
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Rain, it all sounds so confusing -- the texts and the sweet words, but then saying he hopes you find someone else. It just doesn't make sense. Do you really want him to leave you alone? I can see why you would. Everyone says that if we have NC, we'll feel better and get better. I fight it with every fiber of my being, and whenever I hear her voice or see her I feel better. It's sick. (Of course when I see her with OW, which I haven't yet, that won't feel very good at all. Ick.)
You go right ahead and blubber away. Let it all out. I'm thinking of you.
((((((((Rain75)))))))
Thanks NYGal. He can't (won't) give me more than sweet texts...so....Yes, after the past few days I do want him to leave me alone. I do love him (pre A him) but how much pain will be enough? I'm tired of crying so much and of being 2nd choice!
If he can't find his way out of the sh!t storm he has created then leave me alone. If I can't get transparency, again leave me alone. Because if you aren't trying to work towards gaining my trust again...there is no hope.
It will hurt me when he stops all contact but seriously can it be worse?... look at how hurt I am now? He has one foot in and his other foot and entire body "out".
I deserve more. That much I know.
I was where you are. Hearing his voice or seeing him made me feel better too. Every stage is so hard. You did really great tonight. I would have broken down I'm sure lol. And OW ick to the tenth power!
I read an article written by a former OW/curent wife. A cautionary tale. It was pretty long but boiled down to the fact that as soon as she was officially the wife and the excitement of the A was over their relationship went to hell. And her step kids hate her and the family and friends didn't embrace her into their world the way she thought they would. Etc.
And to be clear here I came across it on a blog that was discussing DR and DB methods. I'm not actively searching out OW stories LOL
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
Okay ladies...just to show the depth of crazy right now.... In response to me saying okay to him and to give me space to do what I need to do.
"Baby, I know I am a pos for what I did. I hope you and our babies have a safe and good night. Maybe tomorrow we can have a better day? Good night my love"
And this is why I need for him to leave me alone. He tries to confuse me. But what I need he won't give me. And a better day? When he is the one that wants me to find someone else?
I hear you about wanting the pain and tears to stop. It's awful to be second choice, I certainly know that one. Plan B. The loyal doormat in case the shiny new penny doesn't work out. It stinks.
I love to hear about A's that don't work out so well in the long run. Makes me feel better. I still have hope that W will see the error of her ways, or that OW will step in front of a bus (even better) but patience is not something I'm good at. And I always wonder if I'm deluding myself. I just read a chapter in Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends about being the dumper and the dumpee. The part that broke my heart was about how the dumper thinks about it for a long time before the dumpee even knows there's a problem. And then the dumper feels guilt so they may say nice things to the dumpee. It makes me wonder if all the things she said about how we had a great relationship, and that we were happy together, etc. weren't just part of her guilt. I guess it doesn't matter what was or what was said. I just wonder what the future holds. I have to work on this patience thing.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I'm sure this is confusing, but I'd love to hear good night my love once, just once. I guess W confuses me by telling me that OW is a nutcase. What the heck?? It keeps me hanging on. Is this what they mean by cake eating??
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I'm sure this is confusing, but I'd love to hear good night my love once, just once. I guess W confuses me by telling me that OW is a nutcase. What the heck?? It keeps me hanging on. Is this what they mean by cake eating??
Everything they do and say is confusing! H told me he didn't want to be married to me anymore and didn't wan to se me. After some time, H told me he was sorry and also said he had made OW believe that he wanted a future with her but that he knew that was never true. Said he wanted me back. After less than 2 weeks, pulled rug out from under me AGAIN and said he was sorry but he just couldn't do this with me anymore...went running back to OW. What?! Seriously? I don't know it he is consciously lying to both of us, or if he is just that freaking confused that he believes what he's saying, but keeps changing his mind. Cake eating? Confused? Well, if he's not confused, he sure is making me that way.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Rain, I am so sorry he is playing with your heart and mind this way. So cruel! I think he still wants you, but just doesn't know how to go about getting you. When he "dumped" you the first time, you came chasing after him. Perhaps he just said all that yesterday to get a rise out of you thinking you'd start the pursuit again. When that didn't happen, he had to back up, scratch his head, and regroup. That came out as Sorry I'm an idiot baby, hopefully I can figure out how to manipulate you better by tomorrow morning. I will think on it tonight. Sleep well my love.... Okay, I paraphrased a bit! LOL. This looks to me like a maniplation to get you to come running back out of fear that you're going to loose him for good. He just didn't get the reaction he wanted. Watch out, he's got all night to come up with it, but he WILL try something else tomorrow. Stay strong and be prepaired.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Great paraphrase, MB! I certainly understand how painful the confusion can be. The two months I spent waiting to see who W would pick were excruciating. Every time I saw her I thought she would pick me. Pick me, pick me!! It was pitiful. I do crave a goodnight text or a few words of encouragement, or one of our old terms of endearment. But I don't expect that, and it would probably grab me by the throat and hold me there. I don't have the strength yet to fend that sort of thing off yet. So Rain, if you can stay strong and keep your wits about you, I admire that!
Give him a taste of his own medicine!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
