Flight's Thread #2

[Flight]

I don't know if I can maintain the strength to do what I have to do. But looking at my situation objectively, I know what to do. If I knew intimately this same story with a sibling or close friend, I know what I would tell them to do. My feelings get in the way.

I talked with her a bit today and frankly, she is just an entitled, self-deluded cheater. She has a pattern and when things don't go her way, she blames her husband and relationshp and then meets someone else. Then says it wasn't the someone else, it was the horrible relationship.

Like I said, I take personal responsibility for my actions and my part and hurting our relationship. If she was "weak" and "fell" because I damaged her trust and she didn't feel happy in the marriage, I get the weak part. But she had plenty of other choices. Nothing excuses infidelity. I do not control her choices and the relationship didn't make her do it.

Today, she just cemented her entitled thinking and very strange and severe ideas about gender roles. As Sandi asked, (paraphrasing) "who would want to be with someone who says they don't love them and could never be intimate with them again?" Well, let me expand on that and ask, "Why would I invest more effort in someone emotionally unequipped to maintain a healthy relationship and who is at her core level, untrustworthy?"

The fact that she takes absolutely no personal responsibility for the affair, and even now has gone back to saying it wasn't an affair because it wasn't pre-meditated, shows such a warped world view that I can't imagine ever coming out of the "fog". I think she has always been in the fog about life and love and the affair is just one symptom of it.

The silly romantic in me says separate and keep the home fires burning and be nice and maintain a connection so that when she falls again, she will fall into my arms. The other part of me want to treat her like "War of the Roses" and go out of my way to be as cold and mean to her as she has been to me.