The Start of my Happiness 2

[sandi2]

I won't answer for Azzork, however, if he had not asked why you were planning to invite your wayward wife to stay for supper, I would have. Here was your response to him:

Just to be polite I guess. If it were a mutual acquaintance dripping off the boys I would do the same. You happen to come to my house during supper I will invite you to eat. It has nothing to do with R or anything. Just who I am

.

Tyler, you are deceiving yourself into thinking you are strong enough enough to act as if she is just an acquaintance. She has just left you and has another man in her life. This would not be appropriate, IMHO, whatsoever, not to mention the expectations it would set up with the kids. I mean they would be wanting you to invite mom every time she got near your house......which is not is good idea to start doing.

If you have read something about treating as like a neighbor, let me quickly insert a word. Nosy neighbor. One who you do not want coming over to have supper with you. With a nosy, meddlesome neighbor, you just throw your hand up in a quick wave and quickly move on. That is how you need to deal with your W right now.

About 5 minutes down the road I was almost in tears. I know I have been doing better. Seeing her again tho brings up a lot of stuff. There wasn't a lot of convo. Just this is in here This stuffy is here. Kind of stuff.

Exactly.

I think I saw you, or maybe someone else asking about being friends again. Every time this is asked, enveribly, there will be at least one or two women (not WW or WAW, but a LBW) who will jump on this or some other newcomers who think it sounds swell. The point I think most people who support this miss, is the timing factor. The women I have seen support the friendships are those who were left by their H's, and of course, women like the whole friendship thing. About the only men who say anything are those desperate LBH'S who would throw everything out the window, including their self respect, just to have a little excuse to be available for their wayward wife who is currently in an A. How anyone could respect themselves is beyond me, but to think a WAYWARD woman is going to have respect for a H who wants to be her friend while she is cheating on him publicly.......just blows my freakin mind!

Yes, once she ends her A, shows true repentance and remorse for her actions, and begins showing respect for the H, then he can begin with showing friendliness and gradually move toward a more sound friendship. If they are talking about possibly reconciling, then working toward being friends first, would be a good idea. But I have already written a long post on another thread about friendship today, so if you are interested, you can look it up.

It is about the right timing, DB members. B/c I promise you a wayward wife and her LBH are not going to look at a friendship between them through the same set of eyes.

Tyler, please, please do not think you can jump into a friendship with this wayward woman and believe it will lead you back together as man & wife. Check my other post for the reasons this doesn't work. These things take time. Once she is out of her waywardness, then ease into friendship, if she gives you clear indication of her true intentions.

Right now, I suggest you work toward just being civil, and if you can have a friend-ly atmosphere, that would be good. Big difference in being friendly and being friends.