bttrfly asks "regarding wife's request for alone time before the funeral ... is there any way you can simply put her off" Yes, I tried to put off W - here is how our convo went:
W calls me and tells me she only has 30 seconds to talk. She asks what I am doing after Dad's funeral tomorrow. I tell her there is a reception at the church, and then Mom's neighbors are throwing a gathering after this at Mom's home (which is 15 minutes away.).
W asks if I am going to the gathering, and I tell her "yes". (I thought I dodged the bullet.)
W then asks if I really want to have s14 after the funeral. I tell "yes, I really want s14 for the long weekend" - he has Monday off again.
So she called me again a minute later - I joked that "I thought your 30 seconds was up." She ignored me. But this is when she asks if she could see me 30 minutes before the visitation, and I agreed. W has been supportive during this process, she continues to tell me she loves my Dad - she has suffered a loss too. So I don't think she would be intentionally thoughtless or mean to me at this meeting.
But she may be unintentionally thoughtless, and just wanting to say something that makes her feel better. I don't know. I am not afraid of this meeting, I just want to focus on the loss of my Father and my family, and not have any drama. We will see what is in store.
