He loves me he loves me not

[JulieH]

JellyB..I think you are psychic. Hopefully I will be able to discuss this more in future.

Sexy and flirty was not in the cards today. In fact my hurt feelings and resentment probably messed things up big time. This weekend there is blizzard hitting and its husbands turn with the kids. All day long I kept thinking about how I was going to miss out on spending snow time with kids. I do not like being so far away from them and unable to get to them during an event like this.

My son does not like leaving. It's a transition issue I think. Once he gets there he is ok. MIL usually gives him junk food (something I always tried to keep them away from but gave up) and then he settles in. He does want to come home to me early though. He talks about it for days. Tells me "don't let daddy take me" "don't let daddy in so he can take me" "no more sleep overs" "hold me tight so daddy can't take me". etc. just now, it was a major struggle. He was hiding under the desk and really resisting. Husband wanted me to be the one to grab him and carry him to car seat and I would not. I was emotional and teary eyed a bit as well because it was hard to see son like this and I know this would not have made it better for son.

I told son that everyone loves him. Mommy and daddy love him and we both take turns having him because we are his mommy and daddy and we both love him. I do Not say bad things about my husband in front of him ever. (He loves his father and last weekend when we went out he was asking him not to leave. )

I do not however want to be the one who physically forces him kicking and screaming out. My husband also lies and tells them that mom is going out and that is why he is taking them. I told husband recently that I don't want him to tell him lies like that.

He kept talking about all the fun they were going to have with him and grandma and I was literally sick over it. MIL taking over my role as mom is infuriating.

Anyway, I suspect husband is upset with me. He want to talk to me after he puts to bed.

What I want to say....

1. divorce is horrific on kids. When you did all your research by talking to your divorced friends and friends of divorced parents didn't they forewarn you? (He had told me a while ago, that he didn't just make this decision lightly he talked to friends who had divorced parents.)

2. You want me to implement something that I wholeheartedly disagreed with.

3. You only thought about yourself when you made this decision. Never about them and they know it.

So what do I say? I am preparing myself. Maybe will just listen and validate. I am emotional right now and this will be challenging. Maybe things like "that must have felt awful".

I won't go on defensive because I did nothing wrong.

Help please?