It affected our lives because It was easier to get off on the porn than attempt to have intimacy with my wife. This has been going on for 10 years.
I was served with divorce papers today. I was accused of making my wifes life intolerable by being addicted to porn. It stated various times where my wife found images on the computer and how it made her feel worthless and betrayed. She wants this divorce and has made a conscious decision. I spoke to her today and she said that the moment she fell out of love with me was when my relationship with my eldest daughter became difficult. I would shout at her mainly because my wife always sided with her whenever we had a disagreement. She says the porn was a secondary factor although she is using it as the reason for the divorce. She can see that I have become a better father. She says she doesn't hate me and likes me and respects me for owning up to my porn issue and seeking help but says that even if I were to become the man she fell in love with again, she could not risk going through the pain all over. I love her to bits. I am doing what I can of the 180 and I am not begging for a second chance. I have fully accepted her choice but am trying to think if us talking could evolve into something that could change our marriage's direction. She does however want me to move out of our home. I have resisted so far as I pay half the mortgage but don't know if staying is going to help matters.
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
