I've been lurking on site for last 2 months after reading DR, and figured it was time to post.
My WAW let me know in early Dec that she was done, and had been for years - Married 20 years with 3 kids (S16 D12 D10). I knew our marriage wasn't great, but I wasn't expecting her to start talking about separation. I see my story in DR and in many posts...
I was a wreck first week or so, and fortunately I found DR which helped a lot. I've also done a number of DB coaching sessions with Chuck. Over last 2 months I feel I've become a better person - reconnected big time with my kids; doing my share around the house; got my anger / emotions (mostly) under control; etc. Even my WAW has commented on how I've changed, though she adds that she's almost angry about it as why couldn't I have changed years ago...
Problem is that even though we're interacting better, she's still saying she's done and wanting a separation... though slow to work through logistics... I'm getting a number of odd comments from her, including last night about her being willing to (re)bury her feelings and go back to how we were before - I told her I can't go back to something I now know was causing us both problems, and that I'm not urgent to separate or such so let's continue marriage counseling (which we only just started)... very odd, though I'm feeling better about myself in wanting to stay true to my values of caring for my family including her...
From DR and my coach Chuck, I get that beyond GAL I need to break my WAW's core belief that I'm someone easy to walk away from. I feel like I'm shaking those beliefs from the compliments I'm getting, and the acknowledgement that I've changed. Guess I need to continue to be patient to see what happens...
Anyways, I thought it was time to start participating in the forums given the value I've gotten from DR and reading posts. Guess also hoping for tips and support as I continue to patiently see how this plays out...
