I wanted to chime in here as a former reformed MLCer. I've got to hand it to XH for initiating this convo....hats off to him. You handled it really well.
To me, this discussion is the beginning of the maturation process. What this means is that your XH is on a forward path toward healing and it has its own timetable. IF you really want reconciliation, the best way to achieve this end is to be excellent co-parent with him to the kids.
From that co-parenting relationship, then the friendship will blossom and I really think that you two will learn to re-discover each other.
For me, I would find it incredibly hard to ask Ms. Wonka for a second chance because it, to me, would be like swallowing pride and admitting to you that we acted god-awful to you. That is the real self-awareness that I am seeing here when the fog dissipates. The real benchmark for a MLCer on a path of healing is showing true remorse for their actions. It's that CRITICAL point when one can say, "ah, a true turning point...."
