I don't think so. You can't look into what she says so much.
She is still looking for you to engage. Why does her being mad about your response upset you? She is the one that wanted out. This text back and forth will not make you work things out. This was the first contact. Let her keep coming back.
What I have learned from DB is everything feels wrong. You are like me. You want to fix it and think you can. You can not. She has to want to. The next time you can be a little more friendly maybe inquire something.
I think you will be surprised what is prob going on in her head.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Thanks Guys. It certainly did 'feel' wrong.. I can't quite explain it. I know a lot of this is counter intuitive. I guess there has been such little contact, it is hard to not jump right back in there.
Azz, you know what... that is the response I expected. Just not what I wanted I guess. But I did know I was going to get something like that.
So that is the end of that for now I guess. I won't respond to that last one agreed? Hopefully she does keep coming back and I can build on this.
This process is not made or broken on a simple text. Truth is she was temp checking you there. It's tough when down to your core you feel like you need to respond or justify your actions , so you replied with a "sorry I've been busy" which she seemed to reply "right... Bs but whatever" The push pull dance is tricky ... I took away from her initial text and seen it as her confused as to why you are not being her friend, because in her head and the plan she made out in advance had her leaving you but you both still being buddies. My w had the same fantasy .... A few well placed consistent truth darts solve this. My reply to such a text, "sorry if you feel I'm being short, I am just respecting the fact you want space and are going a different direction in your life, just as I am" validating you understand how she feels but also letting her know her choice will not land you as her buddy. Just my approach here
Pinn, I told ya, she's tempt checking. Whenever she decides to check out ole Pinn to see if he's still emotionally attached, and he doesn't act like a puppy trying to lick her face and his tail wagging 90 MPH, she gets pi$$y. So, let her! You LBH'S are so darn scared the WW is going to never contact you again!
I don't know why I keep wasting my breath, but here I go again. Have you ever watched an old classic movie where it showed a female doing something.....say like dropping her lace handkerchief on the ground to see if the gentleman she passed would pick it up and chase after her to hand it to her? I know that's a little far fetch from the forward actions of women these days, however, females have played little games (sweet or very dangerous) since the beginning of time. Your WW was playing a game. She was checking to see if you were going to jump on that hanky and start showing her how interested you really are in her.
The smart guy, in those movie scenes, would be a gentleman......hand her hanky to her (but would not chase her down), tip his hat, and gracefully continue walking on as though he never gave her another thought. It usually frustrated the silly females who were accustomed to manipulating men who would jump through hoops to get an excuse to talk to her. It might even anger her if she'd tried to get this particular gentleman to fall for her little tricks......but the funny thing is......he would be the guy who she kept trying to get, instead of those others who would run a mile to give her hanky back. That is how it has always been, and it will continue to be!
You didn't jump as quick and as high as she wanted, and just like any other WW who tempt checks and fails........she got pi$$y. Well let her! Why are you worried? As long as you are the cool guy, she will keep trying. But the minute you start giving her answers about why you didn't say more in your replies, etc., etc., she's disinterested b/c she knows she still has you in the palm of her hand.
When will you men learn this? This is not hard to understand. "I know Sandi, but it's so hard to do". Really? Even if you know you are deleting an opportunity to let it develop into something further? Even if you know you've shot yourself in the foot every time you fall for one of her tempt checks? Even though you know she's playing with you and seeing if she can make a bigger fool out of you?
Do you really want to know when she's authentic in what you think is her "reaching out"? That's what most men call it, when she's really doing nothing more than tempt checking. They say, "But what if she was reaching out and I didn't respond, then I've lost her forever". Listen, if the woman is still wayward......forget her contacts. If she is sincerely wanting to be with you in a MR.......she will not act like a b'tch when you don't respond to some idiotic text after 6 or 7 months of NC. If she acts like a jerk, then she's still wayward and you need to get as far away from her as possible. No explanations, no debating, no talks. Why do nice-guy LBH types think they owe the WW an explanation whenever her hair starts to bristle at him? It's her problem, not his. She can get glad in the same rags she got mad. Who cares? He is so scared she'll think he doesn't care that he ruins his chances by responding too quickly, with too much excitement, and too much talk.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Caliguy, yea that would have been good. I hope I get the chance for this again. I wasn't even thinking of a truth dart at that point... she definitely could use a few of those and I like that response. She really could not get mad at that... that is the truth.
Pinn, I told ya, she's tempt checking. Whenever she decides to check out ole Pinn to see if he's still emotionally attached, and he doesn't act like a puppy trying to lick her face and his tail wagging 90 MPH, she gets pi$$y. So, let her! You LBH'S are so darn scared the WW is going to never contact you again!
I don't know why I keep wasting my breath, but here I go again. Have you ever watched an old classic movie where it showed a female doing something.....say like dropping her lace handkerchief on the ground to see if the gentleman she passed would pick it up and chase after her to hand it to her? I know that's a little far fetch from the forward actions of women these days, however, females have played little games (sweet or very dangerous) since the beginning of time. Your WW was playing a game. She was checking to see if you were going to jump on that hanky and start showing her how interested you really are in her.
The smart guy, in those movie scenes, would be a gentleman......hand her hanky to her (but would not chase her down), tip his hat, and gracefully continue walking on as though he never gave her another thought. It usually frustrated the silly females who were accustomed to manipulating men who would jump through hoops to get an excuse to talk to her. It might even anger her if she'd tried to get this particular gentleman to fall for her little tricks......but the funny thing is......he would be the guy who she kept trying to get, instead of those others who would run a mile to give her hanky back. That is how it has always been, and it will continue to be!
You didn't jump as quick and as high as she wanted, and just like any other WW who tempt checks and fails........she got pi$$y. Well let her! Why are you worried? As long as you are the cool guy, she will keep trying. But the minute you start giving her answers about why you didn't say more in your replies, etc., etc., she's disinterested b/c she knows she still has you in the palm of her hand.
When will you men learn this? This is not hard to understand. "I know Sandi, but it's so hard to do". Really? Even if you know you are deleting an opportunity to let it develop into something further? Even if you know you've shot yourself in the foot every time you fall for one of her tempt checks? Even though you know she's playing with you and seeing if she can make a bigger fool out of you?
Do you really want to know when she's authentic in what you think is her "reaching out"? That's what most men call it, when she's really doing nothing more than tempt checking. They say, "But what if she was reaching out and I didn't respond, then I've lost her forever". Listen, if the woman is still wayward......forget her contacts. If she is sincerely wanting to be with you in a MR.......she will not act like a b'tch when you don't respond to some idiotic text after 6 or 7 months of NC. If she acts like a jerk, then she's still wayward and you need to get as far away from her as possible. No explanations, no debating, no talks. Why do nice-guy LBH types think they owe the WW an explanation whenever her hair starts to bristle at him? It's her problem, not his. She can get glad in the same rags she got mad. Who cares? He is so scared she'll think he doesn't care that he ruins his chances by responding too quickly, with too much excitement, and too much talk.
perfect Sandi... thanks for this. I can keep the focus. I don't think I reacted that poorly to the temp check, did you? Of course it could always be better. Maybe my mind reacted poorly to it. I was mainly just venting/ questioning things on here. The reason why I do that is to get these types of responses. So I can learn a bit, think about what people say and drive it into my head. I think I am getting it.
This was the first time I had this happen to me, so yes my mind spun a bit but at least my actions were in control. Next time, my mind will spin less and my actions will be better. I can handle this... I will handle this.
Thanks for stopping by! The original text from her had nothing to do with our taxes that was what had my mind spinning for a bit then she used the tax thing after that as a reason to keep texting basically.
I am the tax man, I do our taxes so I need her info. That is what she is referring to. But the tax aspect of the convo was meaningless, everything else is what I was trying to get right.
Anyway.... on to a new thread. It is always interesting seeing what transpires over the course of these threads.
